It is not my birthday today

I had to check this morning to see if I was still married.  Well, Facebook married.  I was surprised to see that I am, but that could change shortly.  No, we’re not in trouble.  We’re not headed to counseling.  It’s just that today is my precious husband’s birthday, and he really, really doesn’t like attention so I figured he would deactivate his account temporarily.  He has a history of such things.

I LOVE birthdays.  But not just mine.  I love celebrating other people’s birthdays too.  I want to celebrate everyone else’s birthday the same way I like to celebrate mine—loud, proud, and extended.  So 27 plus years ago, God sent a young man into my life who basically considers birthdays to be just a regular biological occurrence.  He doesn’t need all the hoopla and actually really doesn’t enjoy it.  WHAT??!!!! How can anyone not enjoy a day that is all about you?  The phone ringing, the emails chirping, and screen after screen of Happy Birthdays from Facebook friends all over the world?

My husband.  That’s who.  It has taken me a long time to “get it.”  I really thought that once he had a really fun birthday celebration, that he would enjoy them like I do.  One year, I invited a bunch of friends over to celebrate one of those milestone birthdays.  Rod threw up all day.  I told the friends not to come over.  Another year, he had an accident in the garage that resulted in the evening spent in the Emergency Room getting his hand stitched back together. However, because all his girls (including me) were so excited about his birthday dessert, he carefully hid his injured hand under the table until all the candles were blown out and the dessert was eaten.  I’ve “surprised” him with cake at his office, banners, balloons, and everything else that I can think of. But 27 years later, I have to confess that he probably just tolerates these things.  He really doesn’t love them like I do.

So today, I’m not “surprising” him.  I didn’t paint messages on his car window for the rest of the DC commuters to read.  I didn’t even tell anyone at his office it’s his birthday.  Oh don’t worry.  I still have plans to celebrate.  But  it will be the kind that he really likes.

Funny thing happened on the way to making vegetable soup

I’m sure you’re probably thinking that since I haven’t added to this blog in over a month, we must be having a perfectly wonderful life here at the Fillinger house.  No bumps in the road, no drama, no trauma etc.  Why of course that’s it.  Our house looks like yours, right?  Some of the events of this month are still too painful to share.  Maybe soon, but not today.

Early yesterday I posted on my FB status that I didn’t feel much like the Proverbs 31 woman–you know, Mother Teresa, Martha Stewart, and June Cleaver all rolled into one perfect package.  I didn’t realize that discouraged moment would actually be one of the highlights of the morning.

I didn’t feel like I got the household off to a great start, but after some Bible reading, coffee, and a shower, I was ready to make things better.  I had pulled out the ingredients for homemade vegetable soup for dinner and we were just getting ready to start school when Pudge announced that there was water on the floor in the basement bathroom.  I figured that the same wooly mammoth dog that had knocked over a lamp earlier had also knocked over a water bowl so I wasn’t too worried.  I asked Reagan to grab a couple of cleaning cloths for me and I went to do a quick clean up.  You already know where this is going.  It wasn’t a bowlful of water.  It was floor covered, rug soaked, splash around water.  I promptly called for the mop and bucket.  We had a leak in that bathroom last year, so my first thought was the shower again.  But the hot water heater is in a closet on the other side of that bathroom so I decided I should check that out too.

I opened the door to the closet housing the hot water heater and the furnace and of course it too was covered with water. Great.  Now, I don’t know about your house, but most of our closets are used for storing stuff.  In addition to the necessary furnace and hot water heater, this one also had a hammock, children’s easel, and extra folding chairs.  (I moved the stroller out last summer so the little girls could play with it.) I also realized that the mop and bucket would not be sufficient for the clean up job, so I headed to the garage for the shop vac.

On the way, I sent a text to Rod at work and asked him to call me.  I found the shop vac quickly, though I had to move 4 bikes to get to it.  Rats.  Where was the hose?  I got out the step stool and checked the top of the fridge where it had been the last time I saw it. Not there, of course.  Next I tried calling Rod’s cell, voicemail of course.  I knew he would call back though.  I don’t usually call my boyfriend at work; I wait until he calls me.  But that’s another story for another day. I then sent another text saying that I had water in the basement.  A few minutes later he called and I gave him the 411.  I asked if he had any idea where the hose to the shop vac might be.  He made a couple of suggestions and then proceeded to share his thoughts about the amount of inappropriate and unnecessary stuff being stored in the closet with the furnace and hot water heater.  Dandy.  That was just what I needed to hear at that moment.  I was so thankful for his insight and assessment. I really wanted to thank him for pointing out yet another area of our home, my workplace, that was in complete and utter disarray. I especially appreciated it when I finally found the hose to the shop vac on the shelf with the other gardening items. Isn’t the garage the man’s responsibility?

So now you might be wondering what I said in response.  I said nothing. (Shocking, I know.)  He told me that he’d try to get home but he had one more meeting. I said okay and we hung up.  One of the best things I’ve learned in 27 years of marriage, is that 27 years of marriage to this man is worth way more than one ill-timed remark.  Proverbs 10:19 says, “Where words are many, sin is not absent.” And my wonderful lawyer husband has said on many occasions, “what you don’t say can’t be used against you.”  Thankfully, the little girls had gone to play with friends next door who had a day off school, and Abby was already gone. I ranted a little bit while I changed into dry jeans and then I took the shop vac to the basement and cleaned up the mess.  And the husband with the wonderfully timed speech about organization was home within the hour to take charge of situation just like I knew he would.